Getting drunk with cops

Well, the internet here in China isn't the most reliable of all the internets, and that's why we're falling a little behind on the blog. But as promised, here's the post about getting drunk with cops!

The day started out nicely enough with one of many car crashes we'll probably get in over the course of the trip. People here drive like maniacs. It's not uncommon for someone who wants to get ahead of the two cars driving parallel to each other in front of him to just squeeze right between the two. Who needs a passing lane anyway?

Turn signals? Never heard of 'em.

Here's our spunky little driver arguing over who hit who. It was an easy argument because everyone in the car saw the other guy back right on into us. Since crashes like these happen every day, there's no exchanges of insurance, just some friendly conversation about how often these accidents seem to happen.

The next stop was the ancient dike in Chengdu dug by, well, you can read the sign just like I meant to: 

Tourist destinations all seem just about the same no matter where you are in the world. You've got the same kinds of crowds, foul bathrooms, booths tryna sell you various crapola, mascots in sweaty costumes, and tour guides you don't pay attention to. Only this time it wasn't so hard not to pay any attention to the tour guides because we didn't speak a word of Chinese. This here's a two man costume. Takes one guy to wear it, and the other to sit in the belly and wiggle around:

Kids can't get enough of this guy

He loves his job

These guys spout out water from the river. If you touch the water with your left hand it's supposed to grant you good health and good fortune. Touch it with your right hand? Death. Left hands only

These kids are doomed

This tree's the thousand-year old sacred Tao tickling tree. If you rub it it tickles you! Also, it's 1,000 years old

No striding in the fountain! This sign protects the park from liability against death by not-just-touching-the-fountain-with-your-left-hand.

And finally, we hung up some flags: 

 Mississippi Bluesman Alex Wand

Wang Ping, river poet

Ulm Germany!

The Chinese tourists were very interested in the flags. They always are. Try hanging up flags like this in the U.S., and folks just look at you like you're not playing with a full deck. Here's some new friends we made:

Well, to tell the truth, internet's really patchy right now. It keeps fading in and out, so seeing as this is a moment where it's in, I'm just going to post this right now and get to getting drunk with cops later. For now,

Oh yeah, here's a picture of the dike: